30 May 09
 I need to hang it up for tonight. My mind already has.

 I need to hang it up for tonight. My mind already has.

22 May 09
And almost immediately did I realize I had become Dwight Schrute
  • Co-worker: Is that your handwriting on the boxes in there?
  • Me: Yep.
  • CW: Cool .. would you mind writing me something .. a passage?
  • Me: Uhhh ... I don't .. um .. like what?
  • CW: Oh just a little passage for a craft project.
  • Me: Actually I don't think that's such a good idea. I mean, a passage for a little craft project sounds innocent enough, but you could rearrange the words to make a death threat or something and there it'll be all in my handwriting.
  • CW: I would never ..
  • Me: Oh I know! It's just .. no. Sorry.
13 May 09
News for you
  • Jona: but i think girls end up drinking more than guys
  • Jona: because our drinks are free 90% of the time lol
  • Me: do you expect me to pay for your drinks in LA?
  • Jona: someone's got to!
via joshisinfinite.
29 Mar 09
Amazing Race
  • Mike: Do you speak any Thai, Dad?
  • Mel: Yeah, Mai Tai.
  • [Silence]
  • Mel: That was a pun.
  • Mike: I know.
25 Mar 09
Are you making a face via text?
  • Asa: Hey I saw the ad you designed on the digital billboard at I-10 and Huebner this morning.
  • Me: Oh yeah? What did you think of it.
  • Asa: It's good! I've actually seen it a lot, and on the other digital billboards, too.
  • Me: That's good. Hopefully we're getting our message across.
  • Asa: Yeah and then I pulled over in the parking lot of a Jim's to see how many times it came up in a 20 minute time span.
  • Me: Really? Ok ... well how many times was it?
  • Asa: Wait did you just make a face via text? I could feel you make that crinkled nose "uhhh ok" face just now ... did you?
  • Me: ...
  • Asa: Ouch.
13 Mar 09
Note to self: get a diary
  • Michael: Why do you have a diary?
  • Dwight: To keep secrets from my computer.
via sarahchristine.
23 Feb 09
oscars 09
  • me: ahahahaha brad and angelina are going home with NOTHING, NADA, ZIP.
  • janazen: theyll probably go home with one of those indian kids
via littleorphanammo.
19 Feb 09
Boring Vowels
  • Patrick [singing]: I like to eat eat eat
  • Me [singing]: opples and bononoooos!
  • Patrick: What? You started off in the middle.
  • Me: Oh I just skip the boring vowels and go straight to the ones I like.
21 Dec 08
Pretty much the only conversation I remember from last night
  • Carol: Hey, you want to go to Rock San for dinner?
  • Me: Who's Roxanne?
  • Carol: Rock San, it's on De Zavala and just received really good reviews from the Express-News.
  • Me: Wait, are you saying Roxanne as in "you don't have to put on the red light"?
  • Carol: No, Rock as in pebble and San as in San Antonio.
  • Me: Oooh ok.
  • Carol: Yeah Rock San not Roxanne.
  • Me: Wait you're doing it again.
  • Carol: ...
  • Carol: Just call them and see where on De Zavala the are.
  • Me: Wouldn't it be great if some girl named Roxanne works there and answered the phone?
26 Nov 08
Samantha Who?
  • Todd: My mom's coming in from Canada for the week.
  • Samantha: Wait a minute ... she's in Canada? You're Canadian?
  • Todd: Yeah. Why?
  • Samantha: It's just not something that you ever ... talk aboot.